(Fiction)
In the Beginning ...
In a time before abortions were the common / convenient / conventional way to remedy the undesirable birth of an otherwise condemned and crippled child, Angelo was born.
Despite all the devout Rosaries Gabriella had said during her pregnancy, despite the pious selfless daily prayers she offered to Saint Margaret of Antioch (i.e. the patron Saint for pregnant women), despite the blind obedience to her doctor’s strict orders concerning her pregnancy, despite the confessions … the penance … the absolution rendered by the parish priest, despite all this and more … in the end, its value proved to fall short of the price required to purchase the “blessing” she so righteously coveted. Gabriella would have willingly done anything, anything at all to be assured that her baby would be born healthy and free of affliction. It was a wish she wanted granted more than life itself. But, for some unfathomable mystical / ecclesiastical reason, unbeknownst to her, the “Divine Architect” had other plans for her Angelo.
Anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of going through such a travesty or who knows of someone who has gone through a similar sultry ordeal will understand immediately the full extent of what Gabriella suffered next. That being, the excruciating tormenting sense of helplessness she felt at the first sight of the heartless reality of her baby’s twisted lower limbs. The horror of it shook her “faith” to its religious core. She was beyond herself with grief. She cursed her ignorance. She cursed the sin that she committed that got her pregnant in the first place. She cursed Adam and Eve for the sin they committed; which brought evil, sickness, disease, and death into the world. She cursed God for not directly interceding after listening to her prayers. Gabriella wailed out in anguish drowning away the cries little Angelo was making as the breath of life filled his newborn lungs for the very first time.
Gabriella was too distraught to ponder the thought and to understand that “Sin” has been wreaking havoc on the human race ever since Adam and Eve fell from grace and were cast out of the Garden of Eden. Birth defects, to name just one horrific condition, occur because of sin itself … and NOT because of sins the parents or the baby have committed. Sin is the culprit to despise meriting our contempt. God would NOT be God if he didn’t uphold the laws he created.
We will never be able to fully understand God and His ways. It is wrong for us to question why God allows something to occur. We simply have to trust that He is a loving, good, and merciful God even when the evidence seems to indicate the opposite. Sickness and disease are the result of sin. God provided the “cure” for sin in sending Jesus Christ to die for us (Romans 5:8). If we live our lives in such a way to gain access to heaven, we will be free from sickness, disease, and death. Yet, until that day, we will have to deal with sin, its effects, and its consequences. We can praise God, though, that He can and will use birth defects and other tragedies for our good and His glory. John 9:2-3 declares, "His disciples asked Him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.'"
Our greatest task is to “Trust in the Lord” increasing / nourishing our “faith” until it blossoms into “certainty”. “Faith” is ephemeral and was never meant to be anything else. It is not a guarantee but it is tool we have been provided, by the Holy Spirit, to use, to hold on to until such a time we study effectively enough to “know” for a certainty the “truth”.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6.
But Gabriella was vehemently distraught and could not see anything good / logical in what had happened. In the twinkling of an eye she watched as her “Faith” transformed itself from being a saintly aspiration of hope into an obnoxious court jester amusing himself before the throne of God at her offspring’s expense. As far as she was concerned her prayers had done little more that identify her as a “victim” for executing a merciless and cruel prank. “Why?” … was the only word that repeatedly gushed out through her parched lips in screams of disbelief; subsiding only after her doctor mercifully administrated a powerful morphine based sedative in an empathetic attempt to bring her comfort and rest.
Gabriella slept for nearly a full day under heavy medication and the watchful eyes of the nurses in the ward. What actually transpired during her sleep she never spoke to anyone about. But after she awoke and her tears of remorse and shock subsided, she asked for her baby then held him close to her breaking heart and prayed to God again. Her faith was restored. She humbly closed her eyes and pleaded with the “Divine Architect” that He would be merciful and see fit to miraculously heal Angelo’s of his affliction or use “it” in His service. Gabriella placed all of her remaining trust in God, the Holy Virgin Mary, the Saints and her guardian angel believing, like only a Mother can, this enchanting lustful lie. “God does not make mistakes. God’s will be done”.
The years passed slowly, as it does for the handicapped living in a world designed for the advantaged. As Angelo grew his mother’s love grew proportionately; never wavering for an instant. The metallic tapping / clanking sound of each and every difficult step young Angelo’s crutches assisted him in taking through his childhood was soothing music to his mother’s ears. Gabriella revelled in the progress young Angelo made and the joy she witnessed in her son’s eyes as he walked a crooked path, one enfeebled step at a time, to those places he was determined to go. “God is good, just, loving, and merciful.” she would say to herself while making the sign of the cross. If she could not love Angelo “any more” she could not love him “any less”.
To the outside world it may have appeared that the value of their collective pleasure was somehow measured by their collective pain but that didn’t matter to either mother or son. “God has a plan in store for you, Angelo”, she always seemed to say. “Trust in the Lord, Angelo.” And he did. He believed his mother; which was just enough to keep him moving forward while he concentrated on nurturing his faith to believe in God. It was an obscure concept, God, which he fought against daily NOT to hold responsible for his crippled condition. He set as his primary objective the vanquishing of self-pity that rose up daily challenging his will to free himself from the grips of his handicap.
It wasn’t an easy task staying focused. Angelo endured the heartless snickers, muffled laughter and inclement finger pointing from his peers as he went through his adolescence. Being physically disadvantaged he could not compete with those around him in the area of sports and recreation. This vexatious calamity left him feeling ostracized and sitting “alone” in the bleachers rather than on the varsity bench during school events. His physically impairment diminished his chances of proving his prowess and manliness to the girls that caught his eye / his fancy. It was difficult period of what appeared to be testosterone induced emotional vicious circles accompanied by heart breaks and disappointments.
It was during his late teenage years that Angelo decided to purchase a one way ticket out of a two timing dream (i.e. doubt) and sought sanctuary / refuge within the Roman Catholic Church.
“God has a plan in store for you, Angelo”, his mother continued to say. “Trust in the Lord, Angelo.” He was now ready to put that belief to the test. In the years that followed Angelo lost sight of the tangible world and embraced the combined teachings of the Holy Church Fathers along with Church historians and the lives and works of the Saints. He soared to new heights but it was not enough … he wanted more.
Though the Church condemns all occult practices and systems, Angelo decided that such condemnation did not apply in his case, as he was already physically condemned, so he vigorously / secretively delved into the occult … studying the Kabbalah, the Zohar and the art of Solomon’s magic. He opted to believe that many of the “sacred” rituals found within the Church and the subsequent powers utilized for “the global good” stemmed from the unauthorized use of these “forbidden” mystical works. He held the opinion that Freemasons, the notorious enemy of the Church, were masters of these works. And if that was the case then logic stated that in order to prepare against an enemy one must understand their strong and weak points. Thus, Angelo concluded that the Latin saying “praemonitus, praemunitus” (forewarned is forearmed) was absolutely true and justified his direct “disobedience”. He was not concerned that he ran the risk of being accused of committing a “mortal sin”. He was at a “crossroads” and hastily chose to take a left turn forgetting that the path that leads to the Lord is a straight and narrow path.
Angelo quickly learned the “forbidden art” achieving amazing results. A whole new exciting world was opened up for him to explore … the “spiritual” world. Through its use he was introduced to and aided by his “own” personal guide (the ancient Egyptians called Maahes) to mentor him along “the way”. Angelo was learning to walk (so-to-speak) without his crutches. It was an exhilarating feeling seeing and hearing things that most men only dreamed possible. He obstinately confused Maahes with being his “guardian angel” and believed that his “out of body” experiences were heaven sent; which was a far cry from the truth. Maahes had made it clear, with explicit instructions, to Angelo NOT to share his “awakening” with his mother, his parish priest or anyone else for that matter for it was not yet “time” to do so. And he blindly obeyed never once considering that none of what he was experiencing was sanctioned by or realized through the power of God but instead by the use of “hidden forces” far beyond man's control and intended for man’s destruction.
“Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness.” - 2 Corinthians 11:14–15
Maahes was a master of deceit fighting a losing battle with the audacity of believing that there was still time to inflict heavy casualties on his enemy. The war in Heaven was NOT over. For him there was no thought of surrender or fleeing the battle field. For millennia he had been an ominous “fisher of men” casting his baited hook of partial truths out into the waters of baptism luring in an unsuspecting “Soul” of which Angelo was one. Yet, this time it was different. In this specific case his targeted “catch” had added value. Angelo was special and could be profitably used to “chum” the waters and lure tens of thousands into his hungry nets. Maahes smiled, it was a brilliant plan and it was time to capitalize on it. All he needed to do now was to set the hook and reel Angelo into his boat.
“You have been chosen to be a righteous standard bearer for the Lord, Angelo“, Maahes slyly whispered into his ear knowing just what a (spiritual) “cripple” wanted to hear. “You have been called to be a NEW voice crying in the wilderness, a prophet in these last and trying days, a true servant of God. And I have been sent to help you, Angelo. The Lord has heard you prayers and has seen your suffering and desires that you become more than you ever imagined possible. His prophet … Behold!”
And with a wave of Maahes’s hand the veil was partially lifted and Angelo beheld a magnificently disturbing vision that would seal his twisted fate. He had sought after a sign, to know the truth, and was granted his request to see the world for what it was; wicked and adulterous. He witnessed sign after sign that left no doubt at all that the “End-Times” was fastly approaching. He saw endless conspiracies and conspirators. He was permitted to look directly into eyes of the evil that had taken firm root in the hearts of men.
“And you, Angelo, if you will but heed my words, God will reward your loyalty by setting your ministry apart from all those that you have just witnessed. Your ministry will blossom and bring forth fruit that will nourish the “faithful” who come unto you. Your ministry will become the last remaining beacon of light in Catholicism, the forerunner of Christ's second coming and the last remnant Catholic religious order in the world. You will become the “Good” Shepherd of Christ’s flock. You will have all I have promised and more, Angelo, if only you will swear an oath to listen and obey.”
And Angelo replied ... without a second thought or a moment's hesitation, condemning himself … “I am the Lord’s servant. Instruct me accordingly and I will comply”.
Matthew 16:1-4 (The Pharisees and Sadducees Seek a Sign)
(1) "Then the Pharisees and Sadducees came, and testing Him asked that He would show them a sign from heaven.”
(2) "He answered and said to them, “When it is evening you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red’;"
(3) "and in the morning, ‘It will be foul weather today, for the sky is red and threatening.’ Hypocrites! You know how to discern the face of the sky, but you cannot discern the signs of the times.”
(4) "A wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign, and no sign shall be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.” And He left them and departed.”
With the covenant accepted the work began.
Part II ... The Crossroad